Numb
by Orangees
Summary: Roxas couldn't bring himself to love Sora like a best friend should. {Semi-Hiatus)
1. Chapter 1

**Being honest, copyright don't save us from crap.**

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**Chapter**** One**

I can only love in ways a best friend should love his best friend. I care about you like a best friend should care about his best friend. Me falling in love with you is not what best friend are supposed to do.

I asked myself if it feels better that I earned this title. I lied to myself, thinking I wouldn't be cut out of your life. I lied, thinking that my feelings were all in my head. I lied, thinking everything could stay the same. It couldn't, no way.

I want to hug you again, without having to worry about who gets jealous.

I want to hold your hand again, thinking I would be the only one.

I felt happy before, knowing it would be only you and I. Sadly, things change.

**xXx**

_At the start, it was just another normal day. I showed up to school, tired as always. The hallways were filled with students chatting, and I just didn't want to be there. I say you, standing by my locker, looking at your shoes. I could tell you apart from everyone else. Always. _

_Your exotic brown skin, brown hair that seemed to be always in a mess, and if they ever got to look at your face, the most brilliant blue eyes. You looked nervous for some reason, playing with your crown chain necklace. _

_When I walked up to you, you grabbed my hand and dragged me out to the courtyard. _

"_What, no good morning or anything?" I asked jokingly. _

"_Oh, ha ha. Do you want me to kiss you on the cheek to?" That would be nice. Of course, I didn't say that out loud. He was so happy that morning, he was glowing. It made me happy to. _

"_What did you drag me out here for?"_

"_I wanted you to be the first to know." He smiled widely at me, a blush forming at his cheeks. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I started to feel anxious. He was so excited. I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth. "Sora don't beat around the bush with me." I pretended to sound excited, but inside I was actually very nervous. I hope he didn't notice. _

_I guess there was too much in his head for him to see. _

"_Riku…" he whispered. I didn't need any more detail. I didn't need any more explanations. I wanted to walk away from him, the kid that just broke my heart. I wanted to go talk to Kairi, or complain to my brother Ventus. But then, what kind of best friend would I be?_

"_He finally asked you?" False excitement. He couldn't sense it, but I wanted him to. He nodded, almost jumping up and down._

'_Roxas, we're officially a couple now." _

**xXx**

It was that day that I lost my closeness to Sora.

Time heals all wounds they say?

Yeah, what a bunch of bullshit.

"You miss him, don't you Roxas?" A voice spoke from behind me. I turned around. Red hair, violet eyes. Kairi. She was one of my closest friends, and once went through what I'm going through. Of course, fate was on her side. Not mine.

"What are you saying Kairi?" She laughing, grabbing a chair next to me.

"You were zoning out you idiot. And you only zone out when you are thinking about something." She knew me well. "You were getting were getting this emo look on your face, like a puppy longing for his tan maste-" I quickly covered her mouth with my hand.

"Shut up. Please?" She licked my hand, and I only rolled my eyes. She did shut up, but after I removed my hand, she hit my shoulder. I grabbed my shoulder in mock, putting my head to the desk. She laughed, patting my shoulder.

"I just came over here to tell you that, it's okay to miss him." That caught me off guard. I raised my head and looked at her. She had a small smile on her face

"I think you can rebuild your gap."

"I can't." She frowned at me, raising an eye brow.

"Why?"

"Because…" I sighed, and rested my head on the desk.

"Because…"

"I'm still in love." She gasped, looking me with her mouth open. I nodded, looking away from her.

I will love him till the feeling drains out of me.

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**A/N: So yeah, here is it. I hope you like it. Blah, I suck at angst T_T. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. :D**

**If you would be so kind, please leave a review?**


	2. Chapter 2

******Being honest, copyright don't save us from crap.**

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**Chapter Two**

I wish fate would **stop **messing with me. Today was going to be a normal day. I was going to be anti-social, as usual. I didn't know that fate wanted to mess me up today. I sometimes wondered it fate hated me.

**xXx**

I was staring at you. I was wondering why you weren't with Riku. He usually came a few moments before class started. Today you were here early. I was worried. You seemed tried, and sad. I wish I could go to you and make you smile. I wish being able to do that.

Suddenly, you straightened up, your gazed looking towards the back. Looking at me. He smiled, beckoning for me to sit by him. My heart raced.

"Me?" I mouthed, pointing to myself. He smiled, and nodded. Before I punched myself, I found myself walking toward him. Why was this all so sudden? The thought of him talking to me had always come to mind, but had never happened. Not until now.

I looked at him, his blue eyes shining with happiness. "Why?" I asked quietly, only for him to hear. In the back of my mind, I can hear bells ringing, loudly. I never had the courage to go talk to him, so I thought I would never happen.

"I'm bored and lonely." He said simply. His voice had gotten a bit deeper than the last I heard it. He grabbed my hand squeezing it. "Play with me." He said in a whiny voice, pouting. The happiness never faded from his eyes.

I sat down, trying to stop a smile from coming to my face. This was too good to be true. Maybe this was a dream. Possibly. "What can I do to make you feel less bored?" I asked him. He shrugged, narrowing his eyes at me. I narrowed mine back. Suddenly, you laughed. You threw your head back and laughed. Some other students looked at us, but that seemed to make you laugh even harder.

"You're so non-intimidating Roxas." He was the only one that would think that I swear. He was never afraid of me, always found me funny.

"What, do I amuse you?" I asked, a smile forming.

"Certainly.' He spoke back, letting out a small giggle. His laugh was amazing. I could listen to it for hours. I wish I could. But nothing lasts forever. I know that for a fact.

"Amazing.' I heard him whisper. I raised an eyebrow leaning closer. He gave a gentle smile, clapping his hands. "I said you're so amazing!" My heart skipped a beat.

Amazing.

**Amazing. **

He thought I was amazing.

My heart **swelled **and my smile grew wide. He smiled back nodding his head. "You always knew how to make me feel better." He told me. I couldn't stop smiling. Even though I was smiling, on the inside I was dying. He was making my feelings, what I was working so hard to get rid of, come back. Damn it all.

**xXx**

I have no idea what happened. After class you came up to me and held my hand. All you said was "We have the next class together." I was freaking out by how much you were paying attention to me. I was happy, but worried. Hopefully Riku doesn't see us. _**Hopefully we don't **__**get caught.**_

He walked and talked to me like this was normal. Squeezed my hand ever so often like it was normal. Acted like everything was normal. This wasn't normal.

We walked into the class room, and I saw Kairi. She was about to wave at me, but grew a shocked expression. She looked between Sora and me, before meeting my eyes. I blushed and looked down. She was going to be dropping a bunch of questions on me later.

This was weird. It all felt like a dream Sora talking to me, Sora holding me hand. I couldn't handle it. He turned around and smirked at me. "You're sweating."

"Really?" I asked, trying to pull my hands from his to see.

"Yeah, your hand is damp. I'm not going to give it back though." I gulped, looking down. '_Please give it back.' _I thought to myself. He laughed, and smiled at me.

"I'm just messing with you."

The bell rung, and I was about to go sit by Kairi, but Sora pulled me down. "Sit by me!" He whined, and I just stared. This might be the only day I get to talk to him like this. Might as well make the most of it. Even if it kills me.

**xXx**

"What the hell was that?!" Kairi asked me after school ended. I shrugged, taking a bite of my sea salt ice cream, not really having an answer for her. She groaned in frustration, and then pouted. She wanted to know what happened badly.

"_You and me both." _I thought to myself. It was so unexpected, the way he was acting. He was acting like nothing had changed. _**Everything had changed. **_I just wanted to go and lock myself in my room, and never come out. I would lie and say I was sick, just to avoid showing up at school. For at least a week.

"He was at class early today. He wasn't talking to anyone until he faced me." I shrugged, taking another bite of my ice cream. "Then he smiled at me. He looked…happy." I told her. She sighed, taking a sip of her red slushy.

"Yeah but that doesn't explain why he was acting all affectionate to you. Holding your hand, smiling at you." I let out a deep breath, not having an answer for her. I didn't know why either.

**xXx**

"Wait, I don't understand."

"Shut up and get out my room Ventus." I groan, and pull the cover over my head. He had bothered me with questions ever since I told him. Even when I screamed at him to leave me alone, he still kept asking the same questions over and over.

"I just want to know what happened." He sighed, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "So he randomly started talking to you again? Just randomly?"

"How many times do I have to tell yes?! I don't know why either!" I sat up, my eyes meeting his. He raised an eyebrow.

"It seems weird."

"Everything is weird to you."

"I know right?" I roll my eyes, allowing myself to fall back on to my bed. I hear him sigh, and get up. I hear footsteps go near the door, and I sigh in relief.

"If I were you, I wouldn't get attached."

"…Again." And with that, he left the room.

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**A/N: Yeah so thanks to people who view and reviewed. :D**

**If you would be so kind, leave a review please?**


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